The first thing to do is take the pressure off you and your partner.
Nothing kills a libido like it "should" and "want". It can happen if you are not having sex right now.
Every long relationship goes through various periods, it is completely normal to have phases in which you have a lot of sex and other phases that are a little more dull.
What can cause these periods? Several reasons, including seasonal changes. Studies have shown that testosterone levels are lower in the winter than in the summer, for example.
Sex can lead to positive changes in the body, such as boosted oxytocin.
An active sex life can strengthen the immune system, improve mood, blood pressure and help you sleep.
It can help reduce stress and loneliness, in turn increasing the chances of a longer, healthier life.
When your desire is different from your partner ...
THE SPONTANEOUS AND THE REACTIVE DESIRE
The spontaneous desire says the name itself, you feel spontaneously attracted or involved in that moment.
Reactive desire on the other hand is when the desire to have sex begins after the act has begun.
Something exciting happens and you slowly get involved.
it is quite normal to experience various desires, even if the spontaneous ones are stronger.
It's helpful to understand where you and your partner re-enter, it can save a lot of trouble thanks to communication.
You won't always feel ready for sex, sometimes the arousal has to happen first. And don't be afraid to initiate sex.
DON'T NEGLECT THE SEX (get organized)
Spontaneity can be great, but it's important to let go of the idea that sex MUST always be spontaneous.
Spontaneity is an illusion, try to think when you first had sex. You will have shaved beforehand, cut your pubic area, washed your body and especially the intimate part, put on perfume or wear something sexy. You were planning everything.
In order not to neglect sex in life, sometimes you have to schedule it, especially if you have different schedules from your partner or there are different situations that make you "ineffective".